Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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