Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
