I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize