This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
