I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
