She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize