People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
you had me at cake vodka
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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