Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
