no. you can't hotbox the world.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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