it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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