two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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