You can't motorboat a personality
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
