idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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