i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
