my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize