cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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