Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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