white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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