so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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