but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
