What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
