The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
