Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
