That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
