That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I could make wine with my vomit
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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