she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
and she was petting her beer can
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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