your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
love makes seman taste better
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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