There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
