took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
