..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
