I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Who wears a wallet chain?!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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