We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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