I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
