I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
