dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
false alarm. still invincible.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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