She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
