I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
