If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
