Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
