your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize