i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
