how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize