you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
