I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
