ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize