I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
