yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
