How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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