is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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