All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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