Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
