Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
