I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
