He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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