You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize