therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
