No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
