First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize