I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
50% drunk capacity currently
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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