the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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