It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
