Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
