Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
