Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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