Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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