My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize