i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
it glows. i had to have it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
