this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
