toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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