Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize