well I can't set my house on fire every night
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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