A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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