How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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