Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
