Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
