are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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